In just one year!

It's been a whole year since my ASD closure and an incredible one at that! In the last 3 or 4 weeks have been the first I have felt 'good' in a very long time. It seems like the past 4 years have been some of our most trialsome ever. When I was pregnant with Lydia there was a tumor that was beside her that the Lord just miraculously took away. Then my first c-section and the challenge of her first year. Then my heart ailments, surgery to close my ASD, and more ailments. ;-) I often think of the 6 times in this year I had to kiss all my children good bye, not knowing if I would be coming back to ever be able to do that again. The times Jeff drove me to the ER 90 mph!

In this past year, every birthday, every holiday, came with tears of thankfulness. For so many times I thought I wouldn't see it.

Last month a 16 year old girl collapsed at school and died. She was apparently waiting for surgery to close the hole in her heart. That has been very sobering for me to think on. She was so young, never given the chance to marry or have children. My heart breaks for her family! Every doctor I ran into was shocked and amazed that I delivered 8 children with this hole. Now I understand. And to think of the 26 years I lived in rebellion to God, how I loved my wretched sin more than Him! How I paid no attention to His Word or plan for my life. How I showed no appreciation for the life He gave me, or the salvation He gave me through dying on the cross! How he could have taken my life at any point in time, but out of grace and mercy hasn't.

Those were some hard times to endure, at the time. But looking back I can see evidence of God! There were so many times I thought for sure I was dying. I have written down in my journal how He answered specific prayer. I know how He has drawn us closer as a family and caused the love and appreciation between Jeff and I to grow. Overcome with a renewed sense of thankfulness and appreciation for salvation, His Word, guidance, strength and a peace that passes all understanding in the midst of a trial.

So even though they seemed the worst of times, when I can look back and see God so evident in my life, it makes it the very best of times. In a way it makes it worthwhile, because His blessings are abundant!

So I will continue thanking Him for every new dawn! I will strive to live obediently to His Word! I will profess His goodness and gospel boldly! I will praise Him all the day long!

James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him."

Note: there's a link on the sidebar where you can read all the posts related to Mom's surgery. ~Megan